


Shattered

by Random__Fangirl



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Broken Families, Character Death, Depressed Tony Stark, Depression, Doom bots, Gen, Kid Peter Parker, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Feels, Sad, Sad Ending, Science Bros, Time Travel, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, broken tony, in a non romantic way, peter loves tony and tony loves peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-05-21 07:05:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random__Fangirl/pseuds/Random__Fangirl
Summary: Everyone on this planet, this puny little worthless planet has a breaking point.Even the great Tony stark was not an exception.Eventually even he would meet his final tipping point.. This is when Tony Stark's world caved in. Leaving him trapped behind....*Rated mature for suicidal thoughts and actions*





	1. Breaking point

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> For those of you that didn't read the tags this is a character death fic and if that isn't your cup of tea turn back now.

The battle was going well. The avengers were winning. They were greatly outnumbered by the doom bot forces but they used it to their advantage as much as they could. Clint and Natasha were fighting as hard as they could shooting and stabbing everything that came their way. Steve was there too, a little behind them so that he could keep them off their backs. His shield is his only weapon and he was using it well bashing in the bots that came near him.  
on the sidelines of the battle was Tony who had swarms droving over his body, he had broke formation and was fighting to keep them off him as he fired Repulsor blast after Repulsor blast.

Tony no matter how strong he was couldn't hold on for long and after a few minutes he was pinned down the Doom bot ready to strike a killing blow. Tony knew that he was about to die he knew that want you down there was no getting back up and he was ready, he had always hoped that he would go out fighting. In order to win you have to sacrifice and in this case his life was the sacrifice but then again nothing ever went his way.

Tony closed his eyes, shutting them tight as if that would help the pain he was about to feel and prepared himself to die. He was ready as he would ever be. The Doom bot reared back for killing blow, it's arms over it's head and a sharpened pole in its hands. But then a miracle happened, tony felt the weight lifted off of him. He was saved! Opening his eyes to look for his savior he spotted Peter. Peter sat at the sidelines right next to the bot he had just taken off of to you. Peter sheepishly gave him a wave. That is when tony saw it. The bot wasn't dead as they had first thought. Instead it was getting up and it still had it's weapon. Worst of all it was directly behind peter. And tony watched in horror only having time to yell " look out" before watching in horror as a doom bot got up completely behind peter, his peter, his kid and the thing rammed the big, sharp metal pole into peters gut. Then peter had this look on his face. The look tony would never forget. It was the face of man that was scared but at the same time knew it was over for them. Tony knew this face well, for it had been his own a few minutes before peter had it. But this time it was different. It was on Peter's face, it was on a kid, an innocent kid who didn't deserve what had and was happening to him. Then the face was gone and peter dropped. 

Tony was angry. He was more angry than he had ever been in his life. Jumping upwith strength he didn't even know he had he shot the doom bot and watched in satisfaction as the light faded from it's mechanical eyes. Then he ran, running to peter, tony used more of the enery he didn't even know he had. Disengaging his suit and wrapping his kid in him arms he cried. Tony never cried. He saw it as a weakness but, this time was different. This time all his thoughts left him and all he could do was cry. "NO, no, no, no, no". Turning and facing the growing crowd he yelled, mustering up as much strength as he could between the sobs "911. Someone call 911" tony turned his attention back to peter his eyes glistening with tears. " Pete you listen to me, don't fall asleep you can do that right." He whispered queitly on verge of tears.

"Mr stark, it's too late."

Tony started to sob harder, as he watched Peter's eyes dim, just like the bot's eyes had. Except this time was different bthis time it was a person and not just any person it was peter, his peter. Frantically he ripped a piece of fabric off of his shirt and started to press it into the rapidly bleeding wound that was staining the space around them red but, it was no use. "911. Call 911." Tony called again between sobs, losing hope

"Mr stark" peter mumbled losing his voice "stop-it. It hurts" tonys panic increased ten-fold at hearing how the voice was rapidly fading.

"You have to live. You can't die on me not-not yet" " YOU HEAR ME, NO DYING." Tony yelled his anger coming out, breaking free from the shell he was keeping it in. 

Peter smiled sadly "Sorry mister stark, I can't hold on much longer" and with that tony watched scilent as he took one last stuttering breath and went limp in his arms.

Tony let out a wail. A horrid heart wrenching wail of agony, like something you would hear in the movies and be glad that it wasn't real. Except it was, it was real. Wrapping Peter's broken body more securely in his arms pressing, the kid's...no, his kid's face into his tear stained shirt, rocking back and forth, tony cried, tears streaming down his face. "no" tony choked "NO"  
"You. It wasn't for you it was for me. It's all my fault." I'm so sorry. I'm so-so sorry."  
Then he whispered to himself trying to assure one simple fact. He whispered a mantra of that one fact to himself, trying to pretend that fact was reality. "you can't be dead" "you can't be dead" "you can't be dead" "you can't possibly be dead". 

And the Avengers had to watch, useless as their most confident member hit his final breaking point and shattered.


	2. The aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter 2 of what will probably be around 10 chapters. I know this is short. I promise the chapters will become longer as it goes on

No one had seen tony ever again. No one had seen tony stark after the events of that day, that one day that had changed everything. they had just not seen him.Well, at least... not really. After the incident tony changed. He was no longer himself. He wasn't tony anymore. Some people were even starting to think it wasn't possible to have this big of a change. Others would use it as an example of what greif does to a man. At night he would drink and cry himself to sleep. During the day was no better, during the day he would lock himself In his room and hide away, writing a note that he hoped he would never use. And wort of all This was an improvement. At first Tony wouldn't eat, he would not sleep, nor drink. Soon the avengers felt they needed to put a stop to this it was his health at stake and they were his family. And they did stop it they made him eat, they made him drink, and they made him sleep and he hated them for it. He had wanted it to be over.

But in the end they helped him make up his mind... he quit. He quit everything he was. Iron Man was no longer an avenger. He had quit that. He had quit the stark industry to. He had shut it down completely and made sure it would never open back up. The great tony stark had just become another sad, lost case that couldn't be fixed. 

The only time Tony ever left the tower was the funeral. It was a small funeral for there weren't many people peter had left in this world. Ned was there, mj was too, even Flash Thompson would she'd a few tears. So would aunt may. But tony broke completely and entirely. He wanted it to be over. The avengers were invited too but they never came. They felt it was wrong to morn a kid they didn't neven know the name of untill his death. Only tony had known peter well enough. In the end peter had been buried along a long line of Parker's who had each died too early in their lives.

.....................................

It had been a month. An entire month without him. And tony now saw that everything, and everyone was darker than before. The birds seemed to stop singing in the morning. The grass had all wilted and even the sky was darker than before, because what is the sky without it's sun. 

Tony couldn't believe that it had been a whole four weeks since he failed- no. He had killed peter. 3ven if it wasn't by his own hand it was his fault. He had failed everyone he knew. He couldn't even stand to look at may anymore, knowing how much he failed her. He had quit the avengers, they didn't need a killer on their team after all.

And now as he sat tears streaking down his face he spoke to his child long lost. He spoke to only one he could. He spoke over his grave that was so clearly marked.

Here lies Peter Benjamin Parker  
Beloved son, freind, and nephew  
May he forever rest in peace  
2001-- 2018

"Hey, Pete." "H-How's it going."  
Picking up a handful of flowers and looking at them, he sobbed harder. "T-Those flowers you like are back this year. You know the ones with the purple in them and the little yellow centers. The ones you gave me on father's day last year." Not getting a response (not like he was expecting one) he sighed.  
"Pete, I am going to find a way to fix this." His voice started to rise getting louder "You hear me? I will fix this." He paused his voice coming out quieter this time "because If I don't, I think...I think I might just kill myself."


	3. Obsessed with the impossible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you guys a longer chapter so here it is. It's nearly three times larger than the last one.

Time travel is impossible. Tony Stark had proved that. 

It had been 2 years since Peter Parker's death . It had been two whole years but, Tony Stark had not given up. Stark had become obsessed with time travel. He read every Theory and tried everything he could to make them more than just theorys. But time travel was impossible and nothing could change that. Not even a genius.

He was no longer the man he used to be. He wasn't the public icon that he used to be. nor, was he anything like he had ever been in his life. Tony Stark had become crazy. Everyone knew that, he was obsessed with the impossible and he had sold his company just to prove it. Still despite his claims he doesn't have a time machine. 

People have forgotten what Stark used to be like. they see him only as what he is now. And now he is just a crazy old man with no money, no job, and no future. He was lost to the world.

Honestly the public knew he was crazy ever since iron man But, Then came his obsessiveness Over The Impossible and that just proved the common theory. If they saw Stark on the streets they would turn away and shun him. He left the top role model, the top of the later, the best of the best, he left that all behind. He had made it to the top of the world but, then he messed up. He had messed up on the most important thing in his life and he had fell, right to the bottom and when he fell so did everything else he knew.

................................

The Avengers were still alive and kicking but they were different without Tony. When Tony became like this, the public lost their hope in The Avengers. They felt that the Avengers would end up to be just like tony. And in Some Ways, they were right.

The Avengers took a blow when Tony left the team. They no longer had his confidence to push them through the hard times, they no longer had his hope that everything would be okay, and most of all they no longer had their full family. When Tony had lost Peter he left the Avengers. And the Avengers felt incomplete ever since then.

Clint had retired a while back, he couldn't stand staying on the team that had cost him his best friend. After clint had retired almost everyone else followed. When people say that the Avengers are still there to protect them, they really mean that Captain America and his most loyal friends were still there, fighting to keep the peace of the world. good old Stevie, he had tried to bring his team back together but, it had never worked, some things are just too broken to fix.

.......................................

Now Tony sat in his lab. Well... what was left of it. Now what he calls his lab is, in reality an Old broken-down building on the side of a corner street. Tony spends most of his days here, working away on a project that he knew he might just never finish.

Tony sat in his lab furiously hammering nails into a chunk of metal, It was all going well. Tony most days would forget for a while about all that he had lost. Today was one of those days, he was for once free of guilt and he felt okay. Then that all ended when he droped something on the floor. 

Frustrated Tony looked up at the ceiling "Hey jarv, do you think you can--" stoping himself abruptly, he looked sad, disappointed almost. He had an expression on his face. It was the expression that he wore most often these days. His expression was one that looked like it has lost a friend.

"oh... Oh right. I forgot"

As if he suddenly remembered everything again his frown returned and his shoulders dropped. He sighed, Looking at an old worn down picture on the wall he began to speak once again. His voice had grown weary over the last two years, rough with greif.

When they said Tony was crazy. They might have been a little bit right. Lately, he had taken a likeing to talking to himself. He figured, after all no one would ever want to talk to the man who destroyed everything for them. 

So he would talk to his only friend he had left. He would talk to himself, or the picture of Peter on the wall, and sometimes he would even pretend like Jarvis was still here with him and strike up an imaginary conversation with his favorite old artificial intelligence.

"Hey Pete, I promise I'm getting close. Everything will be fine soon, I promise." He paused and a tears started to well up in his eyes. "Oh who am I kidding?"

"Pete, Here's the truth. 2 years ago on this very day I made you a promise. I am nowhere near even completing that promise. To be honest I think I'm farther away then when I started. He chocked back a sob

"I'm not who I was, pete." He paused almost hoping for an answer and when he didn't get one he let a single tear fall from his face.

"I made you that promise and I feel like I've broken it. But there was a second half to that promise, remember? I said if I couldn't fix it myself, I would kill it, I would kill the root of all the problems. I would kill myself, Pete."

Tony had gone from a sad expression to full on crying now "but, I'm afraid. I don't want to die, I want to live. I had wanted to grow old with you by my side, I had always thought that when I was old you'd be there to take care of me, But now I'll just die alone. I had wanted to watch you grow up to be a good man. But you never had the chance, and it was all my fault."

He then looked down at a note. It wasn't just any note. It was special, it was a note he had made in case took too many pills, or cut too deep into his arm. He was never quite satisfied with this note. It was too much, he gave himself too much credit, he deserves much less. The note was simple though And as he read through it one more time made a decision. He wasn't going to end it yet. 

"I think I'm ready now." "I think I know what to do." "this is my last chance, pete. I hope it turns out well."  
" I'm going to call Bruce."

................................

Tony couldn't believe it. He had called Bruce as a last hope before he gave everything up. He had asked for his former Friends help and Bruce had said yes. Bruce still wanted to hang out with him after all he'd done. Bruce was too loyal.

Tony now sat in a chair towards the back of the lab waiting for Bruce to get here. Tony hadn't exactly told Bruce the entire truth. He had said that he wanted to hang out with him and that wasn't a lie, but he forgot to mention he wanted help on the time machine. Would he still want to be here if Tony told him the whole truth? Or would he leave his life like everyone else had?

Soon tony was lost in his thoughts, only to be knocked out of them by a voice ringing through the building."Hey Tony, you here?"

Tony looked up slowley finding the lone figure standing next to the door "Hey Bruce, come in" 

...............................

As Bruce walked in he looked around. Frowning at what he saw, It was a mess. There were peices of old bots everywhere. He even saw dumb-E lying, Tony's favorite bot torn apart in the bottom of the pile. Tony had loved these inventions why would he ever destroy them.

Looks around some more he got his answer. They had been disassembled to get the parts to form something larger that sat in the middle of the room right next to Tony. Bruce sighed, tony never did learn. "So, what do you plan on us doing today?"

Tony looked at the ground not able to look his friend in the face. "uh, about that."

"Tony, Don't Tell me that you called me over here to work on that machine. I've already told you it will never work." Bruce said, already knowing the answer.

Tony looked at Bruce guilt marring his face "please, just give it a chance. I have the plans right here.

Bruce walked over to Tony not wanting to disappoint the man, taking the plans from his hand he looks then over.  
"I don't know about this, tony

"Please, it's my last chance" "I know it's not much but we can make it work." He paused "peter deserves a second chance."

Bruce looked at tony noticing that he looked close to tears. Feeling pity for his old friend he gave in.  
"Fine!" "But first there is someone i heard of that may be of help"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter feel free to leave kudos or a comment.  
> Also, if you have any predictions on who Bruce is going to call for help for feel free to share them. I love hearing what you guys think will happen. :)
> 
> Next update is on the 23!!


	4. When the Impossible becomes possible

It was around six o'clock at night and the street was practically swimming with life and noise despite the two men who were walking down the street, ignoring everyone and everything around them except each other.

Tony was completely and utterly confused. He had no idea where Bruce was taking him and Everytime he asked where they were going he got the same answer. So since he hasn't gotten an answer he likes yet he tried asking again. "Bruce, where are we even going?"

Bruce looked at Tony with a unamused look. "Tony, for the seventeenth time. I don't know!"

Tony scoffed "Well, you should. Your taking us there"

Bruce visibly sighed, shaking his head he stopped walking to turn to Tony. " And as I've told you I've never met the guy. I have read about him in the sheild records." He said talking slowly as if Tony was a small child who couldn't understand what he was saying

"Fine, but we better be there soon. My feet are tired."

.................................

Soon the two men came across a door that sat on the side of the street. The door led to a tall building with an oddly shaped window on the side.

Tony looked at the building and then turned to the man next to him."Really, Bruce this is where the oh so great person lives" Tony said trying to cover up the fact that the building gave of a sort of energy that scared him.

Bruce sighed. "Yes"

Tony shook his head. If this was his last chance then so be it. Maybe this person could help. And if they couldn't... He didn't know what he had left. It was all over.

Tony slowly reached his hand to the door... And he knocked once, twice and then everything around him shifted. The world was spinning and then he was no longer at the street. Tony stood wide eyes for a minute before.

"What The hell Was that." Tony said to himself as he looked around at his new surroundings. He was in a room with a high ceiling and shadows over half the room concealing a lot from veiw. Out of what he could see he noticed glass cases full of ancient looking peices of Pottery and other things, these cases were probably around nthe whole room. He figured it must be a meuseum of sorts. 

He walked over to one of the cases examining it's contents. Inside the case was a pair of boots. Reaching out to pick up the boots he heard someone or something speak.

"Wouldn't touch that if I was you."

From the shadows that surrounded the room emerged a man. The man was tall with a neatly trimmed beard and his clothes were odd to say the least. He had a sort of tunic that wrapped around his chest and a cape that flowed majesticly about him as he walked step by step into the light. 

It was not this any of this that made Tony take a step back but, rather it was the sheer amount of power the man was radiating. Tony could feel the force of it coming off the man it waves... It was almost like what it felt to be around Loki.

Tony was too busy trying to figure out why the man seemed so powerful and at the same time trying to recover from the teleportation effects. And he didn't even notice when the man spoke "you dizzy? sorry. It seems to have that effect on people. Teleportation that is." 

The man continued to talk for a minute or two before he paused and stared at Tony. "You, even listening to me?" 

He waved a hand at Tony's face which seemed to snap him out of the trance. Shaking his head and not knowing what the question was he replied anyway "yeah"

"Good!" My names strange. Doctor strange."  
"And you your Tony stark. Haven't seen your face on the big screen in a while."

Tony snapped. "Well, I gave that up. I gave it all up."

Strange simply nodded walking up closer to Tony so that he was looking him in the face. "I know. But why?" Why did the great stark give up everything? Why did he give up all he had? The answer is to pursue the Impossible, time travel, the thing humanity has wanted for years. You had tried to make it possible but what if I was to tell you it already is."

Tony had gone from a look that said he was about ready to punch the guy to a surprised wide eyed face. "What?"

Strange looked annoyed at tony. Then he sat down in the chair that was next to him, making it so that he was no longer towering over the other man. "I said that time travel is possible" 

Tony immediately transformed his face into a glare again. 'How could he. All I ever wanted was to save peter.'  
"Is this a game to you. I gave up everything to find time travel and you just sat watching as I struggled for the very power you held."

Without looking up to meet his face strange calmly replied. "You can't really blame me can you? You can only blame yourself for this. I mean-"

Strange paused his statement when he looked up and saw the man's face. Then he quickly corrected the statement. "I know it was wrong of me but your here now aren't you. You just hadn't looked in the right place yet."

Tony looked him in the eyes "So, you mean to tell me that you will help me build it"

"Yes, that is what I have been saying"

Tony just glared " okay, but before we get started. One question." "Where the hell is Bruce? Because if he's dead I'll-"

Strange cut him off there before he got too angry "He's outside and alive"

Tony looked out the window to see if strange was lying and saw that Bruce was indeed just pacing around the outside of the building. He turned back to strange "Bring him inside." "If we're doing this, he is too. We're a team."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it feel free to leave kudos or comment.  
> I love to hear your feedback.
> 
> Ps. Sorry if I made strange seem like an asshole in this chapter. I promise he will be better in the next one.


	5. The switch on the wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that my story is not super popular so for those of you out there that actually like it, you make my day with your comments and kind words. They help me to write and make me feel like I matter. So, this chapter is for you guys! You know who you are! Love you guys!

Four days. Four work filled days and five restless nights. After four days they were done, the machine was finished. Tony couldn't believe it. This is what he had been trying to achieve for two years and this man had done it in four days. It was unbelievable.

Despite how exciting this was Tony didn't trust it. It was too good to be true. Tony couldn't believe anything new anymore. His mind had lost all of it's wonder and hope over his years. And when he had lost Peter the tony little fraction that was left shattered. That was when Tony learned that trust and hope and happiness were just a lie. learned that even the best of things can be the worst. The better things are the harder they fall. So he accepted it and he stopped trusting what fate threw to him.

Tony was doubtful but if it was his last chance then he better take it. So he had agreed to make the machine that would send him back to before. Before everything crumbled around him. 

As he was lost in thought, his mind a blur with a million possibilitys, both good and bad. His thoughts overwhelmed him and as of late he had found that without company you seek shelter in what you know, your mind. 

He idn't notice Bruce walking up to him untill he was directly behind the chair that he sat in. The billionaire looking up to his long time friend just smiled as Bruce spoke. "Hey, Tony. Can you believe it? Time travel is real, it's possible and we did it! My brain is questioning everything it has ever learned. "

Snapping entirely from his thoughts of the horrors of his life, he spoke sounding about as confident as he felt. "Hey Bruce, can we use it yet?"

Bruce just shrugged. Time travel was not his science. How was he supposed to know?

Strange walked into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. He had been listening to the conversation outside the room but seeing Bruce shrugging he walked up to the two, butting into their discussion. "I believe so, but we might want to check everything over again. Just in case of a mistake nwe Don't want you to get your arm ripped off your body."

...................................

Tony was doubtful. They had almost finished checking it for damage and He now stood on a small steel plate on the floor that was apparently going to give him the chance to save his son... his kid. It was too good to be true. 

Bruce left the room so that he didn't unleash the hulk when the radiation from the time machine realeased into the air (better safe than sorry). Strange sat behind a large glass wall that was to prevent them from going back in time with him (I have no idea how that works). On the side of this wall sat a lever, a simple little blue stripped lever but, to Tony this lever was everything. This lever could give him his last chance in the world that had been so unfairly taken from him, ripped from his very grasp... But, then again this lever could also kill him, horribly, slowly and most of all painfully. And he couldn't help but feel that the last outcome was what he deserved

They had never figured out if strange was hostile, Tony hadn't even tried. He had figured that if he failed peter again he would die anyways (and it was better to die by a hostile than your own hand). So now he was standing there, his life completely and totally in the hands of someone he meet exactly one week and three hours ago. It was crazy!

Two years ago tony would have never even considered going near this man until he knew the entirety of his intentions but, things had changed. Ever since IT had happened he had lost his old self. That man was too long gone to be recovered. Tony wasn't even tony anymore he was a shell. And worst of all he had excepted it. So, if something good could come out of this life of his then he'll be damned if he didn't try.

...............,...........................

Soon, tony Stark's senses came to him and he realized that strange could be like everyone else. Everyone else in this cruel cruel world.

What if strange didn't even want to help him? What if he had just wanted his mind to build the machine? What if he was going to throw him to the streets? What if he left him like everyone else had? Why hadn't he left yet?

He turned to look at strange (Strange was finishing up the preparations for the travel) and he began to speak to confirm or quench his theorys once and for all, a mix of fear and hope on his face. In his lost broken voice he choked out his thoughts "So" "A-are you sure that you want to help me." 

Strange didn't reply. He simply stared

Tony took this as an invitation to continue. "mean come on. Just go, they all do in the end. I'm probably just another pity case to you" he paused taking a breath his voice coming out louder now almost to the verge of yelling " just a lost little boy in the world. Well guess what, that's what. They all think. Just leave now, leave like they all do"

Strange looked shocked and then in a calm, collected voice he spoke to Tony, trying to calm the man. "I'm not going by leave you. I promise. Your a lot more important than you think and I know that for a fact."

Then without warning Strange muttered something to himself and flipped the switch upwards starting the machine. 

Tony had about a second to look at him then a blinding white light inveloped him and he screamed till he was sure he couldn't any more. Next thing he knew he... He was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think will happen next. your feedback is what makes me push on to finish this story!
> 
> Also here are the links to fanart I made! (Don't judge my Pinterest.)
> 
> [shattered cover art](https://pin.it/5ruhfieugsaaa2)


	6. Back to the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg! I am so sorry it took this long to make this chapter (dang, writers block!).
> 
> So, before you read. if you didn't catch the link on the last chapter here is my sucky fanart 
> 
>  
> 
> [Shattered Fanart](https://pin.it/vl2ze4bext6nlo)

Tony could not explain the feeling of time travel. He could never explain what had happened or how it had happened. The only world's that he could even think to describe it was the word 'strange'. And that was an understatement

Tony had felt the entire world shift around him. He was screaming... But he wasn't. He was standing... But, he wasn't. He could see everything... But, nothing. He could hear a ringing... But, it was scilence. He was moving... But, he wasn't. He could feel it all... But, he couldn't feel anything. 

It was blinding flashes of light but, he knew they weren't real. There was nothing yet, he could see it all. He was moving as fast as he ever would but his limbs wouldn't budge. He could head ringing but, that was his head. He couldn't even tell if it was real or, if he was already dead.

All he could say if you asked him was that one minute he was at strange's place the next he was woken up... In his bed at the tower by the obnoxious alarm clock he used to own. 

..........................................

Tony groaned as he hit dismiss on his alarm. boy, did time travel make you dizzy. His head was a mess, all fuzzy and confused. He sat in bed for a few minutes more, trying to regain his balence, before he got up. Looking down at what he was wearing he almost jumped in Joy at the sight. The last time he had worn this shirt was years ago, two to be exact. 

Tony had to sit down again to process what was going on, whispering to himself all the while. "There's no way." "This - This... It's not possible" "Stange, you lunatic. You've actually done it."

When he finally wrapped his brain around the thought he got up and walked over to the calendar to check the date. He read it and the calendar by his door said he was exactly three days before Peter's death. He had three days to change it all. Three days to stop the inevitable. Three days to fix the past and in turn the future. He could do this.

.............................................

To say the least, peter was worried. Mr. Stark (he still refused to call him by his first name) had been acting off ever since yesterday. He had been extremely happy during breakfast Humming to himself and he was actually cooking (he never cooked, he always njust had coffee and went to the lab.) And earlier this morning he had nearly squeezed peter to death when huged him. All he had done was bolt by him in the hallway yelling something about science. Tony was different. It was an odd change but, not exactly a bad one.

But, despite Peters worries tony was happier than he has ever been in his life. He actually did it. He actually traveled back in time. He had accomplished what many men could only dream to do. And best of all he had a second chance. He can redeem himself. For once he could fix his mistake.

.........................................

The three days flew by quickly. Each one Tony spent in the lab putting every upgrade you could think of on his suit. And making Peters most protected, armored suit had ever made. He had called the new suit the Iron Spider. 

Peter seemed a little weirded out when tony gave him a new suit for no reason at all but, tony didn't care. If it saved him it didn't matter. It really was the perfect machine. There was no way it could go wrong.

But even if he thought this was the case. He was still freaking out. He only had three hours and 50 minutes until the attack. He was watching as the seconds ticked by on the clock. Thinking of everything that could go wrong, letting himself get lost in his thoughts.

Tick  
tock

What if time didn't change? What if it was just the same thing that happened before?

Tick  
Tock

Is that what It would always be? Peter's death forever and always?

Tick  
tock 

Would I have to watch him die again or Could it be changed?

Tick  
tock  
Would he die?

Tick  
Tock

Or Would I die instead?

Tick  
tock 

Would my many attempts to save my kids life been in vain?

Tick  
Tock 

What if I failed my last chance?

He had pushed himself so deep in his own thoughts that he only emerged when the alarms went off... The doom bots were here. The battle had started. And it was only an hour until peter would have a pole rammed through him. He had no time left.

Tony was panicking. Suiting up he almost felt nauseous. He couldn't believe it, he had spent two years waiting for this moment and he was so nervous he could barely stand. He had an hour and that was it. One hour before his life was either saved totally and completely OR when it would come Crashing Down to the ground again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to give a quick thanks to the commenters on the last chapter.  
> You guys are what feuls me to keep this up. I appreciate the feedback!


	7. A note and a single bullet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys just as a warning this chapter does contain triggers. Please do not read if that bothers you. Thanks.

He had done everything right. He had changed every little detail he could think of. He had gone over every possible outcome. But yet, It was the same. It was exactly the same as before. Everything had changed and nothing was different. It was happening all over again, Except this time he knew what would happen.

.................................................

Tony knew it was over when he got separated from the group, it was the same as before. But, still there was a tiny flicker of hope left. Soon even that hope was gone again as he watched it play out right in front of him again.

He watched as the same pole as before drove itself through the now reinforced layers of Peter's suit. He saw as Peter's body hit the ground with a scream. He cried as he held the body of his son to his chest, mumbling into his hair as the spark of life left in his eyes flickered and died. He rocked back and forth screaming about how it wasn't fair, about how he should have lived, how he had done it all right this time. To everyone around him he was a broken man but, he didn't care he had just watched his child die. Except this time it was worse this time he had had the chance to stop it.

.......,............................................

The days after were just like before. He went to the same pitiful funeral and watched as the same stone slab was placed into the ground marking the place of what was underneath. Peter had deserved better, he had deserved to live. 

So, this time he swore to fix it. He swore nothing would be the same but, yet as the time passed on he still sold the tower, he still lost everything, he still was the man he was before.

And now he sat in that familier building on the end of the street, the one coated with grin and dust. Anyone else wouldn't even go near it and yet to Tony it was home. It was familiar to him and it became even more so once the picture on the wall and the singular chair in the corner returned.

..........................................

Not much kept tony from just taking the revolver that sat in the back of the room. It was there for one reason and one reason only. It only had one bullet that sat next to it at all times, only one and it was meant to kill. He had promised himself that he would end it if the pain became too much, if he couldn't save peter.

He had decided that this was the right time. After all nothing could save him anymore, not even the impossible. He had decided that today at exactly noon tomorrow he would pick up that gun for the last time and it would be over. 

He was ready to die. He had always been, Of course back then he had always thought he would go out guns blazing, in a way I guess he still would. 

.................................................

Three hours were left till noon and Tony was crying over a paper that he had yet to write. He had thought it would be easy, he had thought it was to just pick up a gun then fire. But, it wasn't, it was painful before anything even happened.

He sat down at ten and he began to write word, after word. His tears hitting the page soaking it with his pain. He wrote sentence after sentence until he was ready. It was time.

............................................

As he held the gun to his head he looked over at the note that sat almost innocently on the table. He wondered how long it would take them to find his body, or how many would even care. He was sure that the note would ne posted on tge headlines of every paper and the main article on the news... But as he read it over he realized it was nothing special, it was just a note.

The note on the counter was clearly in his handwriting and yet he could still hardly believe he had wrote it. It gave away everything he had ever thought. As he cocked the gun and put in to his head he read the note aloud 8n barely a whisper.

"This is for those of you that want to be a hero, those who feel they will save the world. Here is the advice for if you want to be a hero and it is simple... DON'T. Don't put yourself through the pain, the agony that it causes. It's not worth it. A life like mine ends in pain and that's all. Even the light fades to dark eventually after all,.

I will tell you that if you want to be considered a hero the first step is to die. All you do is you die, and you die, and you die inside, take your heart and shred it over and over again intill you don't know how to live anymore and if you don't remember how to live you can't truely live anymore so you just don't. The reason you become a hero is not for the game or the money. You become like this because you can't ever let people go through the same pain you have. You stop people from becoming like you.

Some people say that Heroes don't have fear but, this isn't true. We are scared, we are always terrified... We just hide it well. After all the only thing to fear is the absence of fear because that means your not human.

In the end The truth is that their are no hero's it has always been just bad against worse. Life has no heroes, a hero is just a lie to cover up the corruption in the world. Heroes are just as bad as what they fight after all. 

I once asked myself, how do you destroy a monster without becoming one. Though I don't think you truly can. You can be oblivious to your true nature; delude yourself into thinking that you're the same person you were when you started. In reality you're always changing. Things are always changing, and somewhere down the road, you take a wrong turn, and there's no turning back. Don't fry your brain looking for a righteous answer. There isn't one. There's already a monster in everyone, waiting to be awakened. Some trigger it, and some avoid it. You might wash the blood off your hands, but you can't erase the memory of yourself killing. It just kinda haunts you. Forever. That's what keeps you human. Trying to forget you ever killed turns you into a monster. Even if they still see you as a hero

Yes it is hard. And yes it hurts. But in the end you help people and that is all that matters. This is a world where heroes are nothing, they can't even save the ones they love. After all In another world, things might've ended differently, I probably wouldn't even be writing this. Somewhere, hopefully, things didn't turn out so tragic.  
If this had been like a storybook ending.This wouldn't have happened But, this isn't a storybook. This is reality.  
And in reality, it is over and there is nothing anyone could do about it. It is too late, believe me I've tried."

And with that final word left his mouth he hesitated before putting his finger on the trigger and shooting the single bullet. 


End file.
